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I don’t mention names often in my work, and I don’t have a desire to ever attack anyone. I have decided to name a pastor in this post. Over the last few days, I have really struggled with the news involving Pastor Robert Morris of Gateway Church on so many levels. He abused a girl for years starting with her being 12 years old, It was framed by him and Gateway as “misconduct”. According to the victim, when she sought justice and financial help with counseling costs, they offered her half of the requested money but with a non-disclosure agreement.
I see many people who seem to be relishing in the news of his resignation. Though I don’t enjoy seeing a church leader fall, but I deeply value the process of justice for victims and the necessity of shedding light on this darkness.
I have so many layers that I am processing. One is that I hadn’t realized how much I still have not fully processed a situation that happened at a mega church where I was on staff as a worship leader. This abuse account with Robert Morris is very similar to a situation that happened with the pastor I worked for. When it came out, it was even framed as ‘past misconduct with a young lady’ (who was actually only 13). One main difference was that the board and the lead pastor where I worked were able to shape the narrative in a way that protected the lead pastor and earned him a standing ovation from the congregation for appearing to be so transparent.
The whole situation with Robert Morris abusing a 12 year old girl and then him and Gateway trying to cover it up has really put me in a weird headspace. On top of that, our worship pastor at my home church played a song that we used to sing at the mega church with the abuse situation this past Sunday, and it really contributed to triggering me and dysregulating me.
When addressing abusive churches and leaders, I have often heard people say, ‘don’t let the behavior of a few bad ones ruin the reputation of the entire church.’ The problem with this is that we are seeing stories coming out left and right. It’s as if abusive behavior isn’t just a bug but a feature within our evangelical machine. Abusive behavior seems to be common. This is something that requires deep reflection and repentance of the church at large.
In the last ten years, I have found myself unimpressed with corporate leadership values in churches, overly produced worship gatherings, celebrity culture, and many other norms in evangelicalism, to the point where I sometimes feel like an exile in church spaces that I rub shoulders with.
I serve on response teams for several organizations and a denomination to support victims of spiritual abuse when allegations arise. I know far too much about some well-known churches with celebrity pastors. I am aware of hidden abuse and rape situations where I have helped victims navigate their next steps, and pastors who protect perpetrators by offering victims NDAs, gaslighting them, and even going as far as calling other evangelical churches in their towns to blacklist victims from attending. These pastors write books, speak at big conferences, and are revered as great leaders. Again, I don’t think it’s just a few bad apples. I believe the tendencies that allow abusive toxicity to fester unchecked are a feature of today’s evangelical church at large.
I am in a particularly interesting place. I am a pastor and know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. A former senior leader who was complicit in the abuse at a church where I once worked, while frustrated with how outspoken I am, asked me, ‘why would anyone want to work for a church with the things that you say?’ I responded, ‘why would anyone want to attend our churches if we are not honest?’
In all honesty, I don’t believe the church as a whole is healthy and good right now. I believe it contributes to all kinds of pain and has deep systemic issues, but I believe in Jesus’s vision for the church. I believe the church is called to be salt and light, but in many ways, it is failing. As a pastor and survivor of spiritual and childhood sexual abuse in a church environment, I refuse to be silent! I refuse to be complicit!
I believe Ezekiel 34 clearly reflects God’s heart in these situations. The Jewish leaders had failed miserably in their role as shepherds of God’s people. Despite being God’s people and part of systems God Himself instituted, God pronounces harsh and clear judgment on these leaders.
In John 10, Jesus is in Jerusalem for the Festival of Dedication. Ezekiel 34 would have been the public reading.
He then says,
“11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.”
Jesus is saying that He is the shepherd promised in Ezekiel, and any other leaders are just hired hands. The problem is that we have many leaders who think they are the Good Shepherd and forget about Jesus. They run after celebrity platforms and prestige when they need to realize it isn’t about them! Instead of letting the Good Shepherd (Jesus) lead and getting out of the way, they show that they do not care about the sheep and seek the idolatry of impact and celebrity, as hired hands.
The evangelical church faces several tendencies that can foster toxic abuse. Let’s take a look at these tendencies:
1. Authoritarian leadership centralizes power in the hands of a few who demand unquestioning obedience from members. This unchecked authority fosters an environment where leaders can manipulate and control without accountability, silencing dissent and perpetuating fear. Such a system often prioritizes the leader’s vision over the well-being of the congregation, leading to emotional, psychological, and sometimes even physical abuse.
2. A lack of accountability allows leaders and members to act with impunity. Without clear oversight and mechanisms for addressing misconduct, abusive behaviors can go unchecked and unchallenged. This absence of accountability creates a power imbalance where victims are often afraid to speak out, knowing their grievances will likely be ignored or dismissed. Such an environment fosters a culture of secrecy and enables continued abuse, eroding trust and safety within the congregation.
3. Silencing victims creates a culture where abuse can persist unchecked. When victims are discouraged from speaking out, whether through explicit threats or implicit pressure, their suffering is compounded, and abusers are emboldened. This silence not only protects perpetrators but also sends a damaging message to the congregation that the church values its reputation over justice and healing.
4. Emphasizing perfectionism in a church environment can lead to spiritual abuse by fostering an atmosphere of fear, secrecy, and unrealistic expectations. When the church sets unattainable standards for moral and spiritual perfection, it pressures members to hide their struggles and imperfections, fearing judgment and rejection. This culture of perfectionism can be spiritually damaging, as it overlooks the grace and redemption central to the Christian faith. Instead of nurturing genuine growth and healing, it traps individuals in a cycle of guilt and shame.
5. Focusing on church leaders’ gifting and charisma over their character contributes to spiritual abuse by creating a superficial and potentially toxic leadership culture. When a leader’s talents and charm are prioritized, their moral integrity and accountability can be overlooked, allowing harmful behaviors to go unchecked. This can lead to an environment where charisma is mistaken for spiritual authority, and serious issues are ignored or excused because of the leader’s apparent success or appeal.
There are three postures that we can take from being aware of abusive tendencies in the church and processing situations like with Robert Morris:
1. We can think that we and our church are an exception to the rule. We can believe that if we talk about these things in public, we are ‘giving Jesus and the church a black eye.’ So we go on with business as usual, not allowing for health or change to actually take place. Saying ‘hear no evil, see no evil’ doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. This is the most common posture of the evangelical church at large right now in these conversations about abuse!
2. We can move to cynicism and think that there is no hope at all! I don’t judge this perspective at all. It comes from the flip side of the last posture. It comes from facing facts about the behavior of the church at large honestly and saying, ‘I want nothing to do with it!’ We can’t shame or blame people for this posture, especially if we are active in a church, especially in leadership. It will feel like a gaslighting session or an attempt at silencing if we shame people for this position. This posture is a response to spiritual abuse in the church, and church attendees and leaders have to realize that it might do more harm to push back on this perspective than not. It is a totally understandable position and posture, given the circumstances.
3. The third posture is that we can be honest about the rampant abuse and the culture that we, in general, have created that allows for it. We can deeply lament, change the ways we have contributed, seek to understand what we might be blind to, and build better and healthier things, even when the church at large may have normalized different mentalities and functions. This is the posture that I personally have chosen to take. I invite you to join me.
I will close with this story. The day that Robert Morris resigned, our church had a board meeting. For an hour before we even began talking business, we prayed. What kept coming up in prayer, without us even verbalizing the direction beforehand, was the leaders asking God to reveal unhealthy tendencies in our own lives (as leaders) so that we could turn from them. We lamented, cried, even wept in deep sadness for where the church at large is and how leaders have failed and abused people. Then we prayed for the victims of abuse, asking God to prepare us to walk with them and that our community would be a place of hope and healing. This is possible if the leadership is committed to countering the common abusive tendencies mentioned above.
By seeking to serve people and not seek power over anyone, by ensuring there are clear systems of accountability, by listening to victims and helping them seek justice, by not seeking perfection but safety and belonging for all, and by prioritizing the character of leaders, we can build better and more kingdom-like communities.
The Cruciform Journey 